The Scent of Honeysuckle
by sqbr
Summary: Josephine thinks she's going to marry a Pentaghast. Things don't quite go according to plan. Fake Dating Cassandra/Josephine femslash.
1. Chapter 1

On aching branch do blossoms grow, the wind a hallowed breath.  
It carries the scent of honeysuckle, sweet as the lover's kiss.  
It brings the promise of more tomorrows, of sighs and whispered bliss. -Carmenum di Amatus

* * *

Cassandra was halfway through her second set of sword exercises before she realised someone was quietly trying to get her attention.

"Lady Seeker?" Josephine seemed full of nervous energy, quite a change from her usual sedate self. She was as impeccably dressed as always, and wasn't _quite_ bouncing on her toes, but the light shone off her golden boots as she shifted her weight back and forth.

"Lady Montilyet? Has something happened?" Whatever was bothering her must be important to bring her out here to talk to Cassandra in the mud. There were going to be stains on those pretty shoes come tomorrow.

"Nothing bad! Something good, in fact. I hope." Josephine gave a polite smile to a drunk who wandered by then leaned closer to Cassandra and lowered her voice. "May we talk in private?"

Cassandra sheathed her sword. "Of course."

* * *

Josephine closed the door to the private room beside Cassandra's training ground and smiled. How had she even known this room was here? Cassandra certainly hadn't noticed it.

"Lady Seeker...Lady Pentaghast," she began and Cassandra's heart sank. So this was to involve her family. What joy. Josephine, meanwhile, was exhibiting more unrestrained glee than Cassandra had seen on her, only a thin veneer of her usual calm ambassadorial manner remained. It made her even prettier than usual, and her happiness was infectious, despite Cassandra's misgivings. For all that Josephine personified the life Cassandra had run across a continent to escape from, there was a simple sweetness underlying Josephine's scheming that made her less obnoxious than most nobles.

Josephine leaned close and gave Cassandra a sly smile. "Strictly speaking I should not tell you this until it becomes official, but I thought you would want to know. Nothing is final yet, but..." Josephine nearly twitched with glee. "We are to become cousins!"

"Cousins?" How... "There is...there is to be a wedding between some relative of yours and mine?" Josephine's smile widened into an outright grin. Ah. No wonder she looked so happy. The Montilyets were barely better than merchants, for them to gain a connection to the Nevarran royal family was a massive coup. Cassandra had to admit that the tiny, wizened part of her that still cared about such things felt a little disturbed by the idea. A Pentaghast married to some washed up minor Antivan house?

But then she remembered what her family was like, and what she knew of the Montilyets, and decided it was Josephine's relative who was marrying beneath themselves. "Congratulations," she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Maybe this would even be a good thing. Maker knew _Cassandra_ never did anything useful with her connections to the Nevarran royal court. Josephine would surely leverage this to the advantage of both her family and the Inquisition. "Is it someone I know? Your sister perhaps?" Cassandra remembered the silly girl pestering the Inquisitor for attention at Halamshiral. The Pentaghasts would eat her alive unless she was lucky enough to find a supportive spouse. "I have so many cousins, I'm not sure which of them it could be, but..."

"It's me!" said Josephine, unable to restrain herself any longer. "The one from my family that is. My sister was very naughty and wrote to me...my parents have very nearly arranged a marriage between myself and _Lord Elias Pentaghast_." Her voice dripped with pride. Cassandra gave a gasp, and quickly saw her own horrified expression mirrored on Josephine's falling face. "Ah, I am so sorry, I know I am not the bride you would have in mind for your cousin, but I promise..."

"Josephine, no, it is not that," said Cassandra. "I have no objections to you, or to your family. You are a good, honourable woman, far better than...It is because I respect you that I...I must tell you that Elias Pentaghast..." Words failed her. Just saying his name brought back all sorts of horrible memories and made it hard to think rationally. "He is an _awful_ man, and not a worthy husband. Not for you or for anyone. He is..." How to explain? "He is violent, and cruel, he would mistreat you more badly than you can...you must dissolve this engagement. I beg of you."

Josephine reacted to the destruction of all her hopes and dreams far better than Cassandra would have. She just took a breath and said "Oh."

"I'm sorry," said Cassandra, "I know this must have felt like such good news..."

"No, thank you," said Josephine. "My parents looked into him carefully, of course, but they do not know him like his own family."

"Elias has always been good at hiding his true nature," said Cassandra. "And the standards of decency for a Nevarran nobleman are...not high to begin with. But we grew up together, and I was friends with his sister...I have never seen anyone else be so cruel to their own family. He pretends to politeness to those with power over him, but anyone beneath him he despises and treats abominably."

Josephine looked at her with sad eyes. "That is horrible," she said. "I'm sorry that you had to...although..." She squinted at Cassandra hopefully. "Could he have...changed? You left Nevarra a long time ago, and...it would not have to be a happy marriage, as long as I was able to continue my work we could live separately..." Cassandra frowned and Josephine shook her hands in negation at her previous words. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't mean to doubt you. I'm sure he is as awful as you say. I just need to convince myself, and then convince my parents. This will not be an easy letter to write. Not that I am not grateful! Far better to write an awkward letter than have an awful husband."

But now Cassandra was doubting herself. _Could_ he have changed? Could she be being blinded by the past? Elias had only been in his early 20s when she left Nevarra. What did she know of the man he was now? "I am not entirely cut off from Nevarra," said Cassandra, slowly. "Much as I might wish it sometimes. I still write to old acquaintances from time to time, and some members of my family still write to me whether I like it or not. Elias wrote to me himself after his old nurse died, since she and I had been close, and then again after the death of his sister. I must admit he was...more polite than I was expecting. For many years he had a reputation for rough treatment of servants and women, but I have not heard any stories like that recently...I think the last I heard of him, he was trying to institute some reforms of inheritance law, or access to the Grand Necropolis, something sensible like that. I think he has even been supporting the Inquisition in Nevarra, in a small way. So, I suppose he _could_ have changed. Though I know of no evidence to suggest it strongly either way."

"Oh," said Josephine. "Did you write back?"

"No."

Cassandra prepared herself for Josephine to defend Elias again, or ask more questions. Instead, she said "He's trying to kill you."

"Kill me? Why..."

"I should have seen it before," said Josephine. "I knew about some of his previous reputation, I had dismissed it as youthful indiscretion, but...I think I was too in love with the idea of marrying a Pentaghast." She gave Cassandra an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, this is...most unbecoming of me. I swear I am not usually such a fool."

Cassandra was left feeling pretty foolish herself. "But _what makes you think he is trying to kill me_?"

"Well, the letter about the nurse of course! If he despises those beneath him, why would he make a note of the death of a servant? Unless he wanted to know your reaction, to see if you forgave him. He was hoping your reply would let him know one way or the other, but when you didn't reply at all he assumed the worst. And so he wrote to you again, but you still didn't reply...and thus, desperate to find some way to get close to you, he proposed to me." She rolled her eyes at herself. "As if a Pentaghast would ever really want to marry a Montilyet!"

"A better one might," said Cassandra. A pretty, competent woman like Josephine should not feel inferior to a brute like her cousin. "But Elias...would he really go to so much trouble?"

"Well...first I must ask, Lady Seeker: why have you never come forward about him killing his brother?"

For a moment Cassandra was 12 again, facing her grieving uncle with Elias and trying to explain how a simple horse ride through the forest had ended with her uncle's heir falling to his death. "I wasn't...I was never sure if he really did it. Everyone was so convinced it was an accident, and it was hard to believe that even Elias..." To her embarrassment she found herself blinking back tears. "But it was all so long ago. Why would he still care?"

"Because as I understand Nevarran law, he cannot inherit if he is found guilty of the murder of any preceding heirs. And it's not like the evidence is gone, I assume your cousin's corpse has been well preserved. Both of your cousin's corpses. If you were to come forward before he murders his father he would lose everything."

"Maker's breath," said Cassandra. Elias had killed Irene as well? It was all so horrible and yet...she could not convince herself to doubt it.

"Indeed," said Josephine. "I am _very glad_ I spoke to you about all this before marrying such a man."

"As am I," said Cassandra. She had always thought Josephine intelligent, but was frankly boggled by her ability to untangle a complex plot that Cassandra herself had completely failed to notice. "I will be on my guard, now. Proving his guilt will not be easy, and a failed attempt to could cause untold troubles for myself and the Inquisition. And if he is so determined to kill me I am sure he will not stop at this."

"He has probably already sent assassins after you," said Josephine, nodding, "I suppose they must have gotten lost amongst all the other assassins targeting the Inquisition." She laughed. "Perhaps I should be grateful that _my assassins were polite enough to explain themselves first."_

Cassandra laughed. "Well since I am not to be so lucky...I am grateful for your help. Maker knows when I would have figured it all out otherwise. Perhaps only after I found a knife in my chest."

Josephine looked at Cassandra's chest and then looked at her own hands. "I am glad we will not have to find out."

Cassandra stepped towards the door. "And now you must write to your parents, and I must decide what to do about Elias. Nevarran engagements can be hard to get out of, but I am sure you will find a way. You are a most capable woman, Lady Montilyet. If you had married into my family we would have been far better for it."

"Thank you, Lady Seeker. You are most capable too, Lord Pentaghast will be no match for you I am sure." She smiled. "I would have been proud to have you as a cousin, and not just because of your name."

"We will have to settle for being comrades in the Inquisition instead," said Cassandra. "I think I prefer that to cousins, under the circumstances."

* * *

Cassandra was not expecting to see Josephine again so soon. She was certainly not expecting to have her turn up just as Cassandra was preparing for bed.

"Lady Montilyet?"

Josephine finished climbing the ladder and straightened her clothes before sitting on Cassandra's single chair. She was wearing a wispy, pretty outfit Cassandra hadn't seen before, much less formal looking than her usual attire. It outlined her figure more, as well. It was disconcerting.

"Lady Pentaghast," said Josephine. She gave Cassandra a confident smile, then seemed to lose her nerve and looked away. She coughed and glanced down over the edge of the balcony into the blacksmith's below. The workers were done for the day but there was still a slight glow of light coming from the smouldering embers in the forge. The orange light flickered across Josephine's dark hair and softly glowed through the top layer of her thin dress. The edge of the bodice was covered with lace and seemed to only be being held closed by a single ribbon. She found herself imagining what might happen if the ribbon were to be untied.

Cassandra crossed her arms. "Yes?"

Josephine stared at her silently then finally seemed to gather her courage. The words came out in a rush. "I've been thinking about our mutual problems and I think I have a solution. But I am really not sure you'll like it. I am not sure _I_ like it. But it means I can escape the engagement with minimal shame on my family and it allows you to challenge your cousin without risking legal complications...although maybe we shouldn't be avoiding legal complications, even if he is trying to kill you, the rule of law...but Leliana thinks this way is best, and the Inquisitor said that she agreed, so perhaps we should do it this way."

"What way?"

Josephine took a deep breath. Her cheeks became noticeably pinker. "The plan, that is the idea, and you can say no, I will entirely understand if you do, but the idea is that we...you and I...pretend to be lovers."

Cassandra gaped. "Lovers?" Josephine nodded, her face still pink. Cassandra could feel herself blushing as well. "Why? To...shame Elias into dropping the engagement?" And he would be shamed, quite effectively, if Elias was at all the man he used to be. But to pretend such a thing! "How would this not bring shame on your family? To be seen as unfaithful, even to an arranged engagement..."

"I am not supposed to know yet, my sister sent her letter before the contracts had been drawn up. It is too late to stop it happening, but not to late to pretend I do not know. And when it comes out, you could challenge him to a duel..." Josephine frowned. "I do not like that aspect. I know he has conspired against you, and Leliana has tried to convince me that a trial would be too likely to end in charges being laid against you, but it seems very..._violent_. My hope is that by drawing him out in this way we might force him to play his hand sooner, so that you would not actually have to kill him yourself."

"_That_ is what bothers you? I would happily kill a thousand Elias's rather than..." Wait that sounded terrible. "He may be my cousin, but the man is a murderer. I have no qualms about killing him even if some manipulation is involved. And I cannot claim to care much about my reputation. But it is just..." She imagined days (weeks?) of pretending to coo over Josephine, of everyone watching them and thinking... She made a grunt of frustration. "This is such a typical Leliana plan. She forgets the Maker did not gift us all with her enthusiasm for deception. I am not even interested in women!"

"I understand," said Josephine. "We will find some other way."

"I did not say no," said Cassandra irritably, and then was surprised at herself. Why was she even considering this? "Just because I have no enthusiasm for deception does not mean I am incapable of it. And as for you being a woman...you will just have to be an exception. These things happen." Strange, that the idea bothered her so little. Half trying to convince herself of her motivations, Cassandra said "As much as I find Leliana's plans frustrating they do usually work. And if we do not do something soon, you will be trapped in an engagement with a man who has murdered several members of our shared family and intends to murder me. If you and Leliana are both convinced this is the best path..."

"I am quite convinced," said Josephine. "Trust me, I might have more, as you say..._enthusiasm for deception_ in general, but I do not like lying to my friends. And I respect you a great deal, Lady Seeker, I am sorry to think of how much embarrassment this will cause you. Were I to have a lover in truth I could not ask for...but this is not truth, and I...uh..." She lost her train of thought, and then found it again. "I will do my best to make this as painless as possible. We are both private people, there is no need for dramatic scenes. Just enough to convince Lord Elias."

"What did you have in mind?" asked Cassandra. "Lady...Josephine. I suppose we should start by using our first names. And then tomorrow, should we...hold hands?" She imagined holding hands with Josephine, the two of them skipping along the path to the war room. "No that's...ridiculous. This is all ridiculous. I can't..."

"I will court you," said Josephine, firmly. "You would not have to pretend very much feeling, just try to cover any, uh...disgust, and pretend your blushes are not just embarrassment, and then we hope that your reputation as a _secret_ romantic means people imagine that you are more affectionate in private." She gave a small smile. "But holding hands is not a bad idea, if done naturally. We would not skip along the path to the war room, haha."

"Indeed," said Cassandra, amused that they had had the same thought. "And it is not _disgust_ I will be feeling, merely..." Then she remembered _why_ she had a reputation as a secret romantic. "Ugh. Varric is going to be insufferable." She shook her head to remove thoughts of the annoying dwarf. "Fine. I will try this. It will not be too long until the official letter arrives, I hope?"

"No more than a month," said Josephine. "We do not have long. Which is why I wanted to start tonight."

"...tonight?"

Josephine stood and gestured down across her dress. "Did you not notice that I am trying to seduce you? I wore my most alluring dress."

"Seduce me!" said Cassandra. "That is very forward of you. I do not care much for my reputation, but would not like to set such a precedent." Though it was a very alluring dress. If Cassandra was the sort to be seduced in a single night, and by a woman...a dress like that wouldn't hurt.

"Of course, I am doomed to fail," said Josephine. "A woman like you needs to be courted properly. But you see...I was so overcome by passion I lost my head." She leaned back in a tragic pose.

"Is that...plausible?" asked Cassandra. "You do not strike me as the type to be overcome by passion."

"Not...as a rule," said Josephine, siting back up straight. "If we had months at our disposal we could create a more natural progression from friends to lovers. But we do not have time for subtlety. And at worst...they will assume I am a social climber, trying to use your social position to improve my own. After all, you _are_ a Pentaghast." Josephine's self deprecating laugh reminded Cassandra of her earlier glee at the idea of marrying a different Pentaghast. If she didn't trust Josephine's basic honesty, she might think this was all a plan to exchange one Pentaghast partner for another. "But I will try to seem sincere. I would not want to make you look foolish, for believing my lies. And you _are_ a very beautiful woman. Who's to say you couldn't inspire me to uncharacteristic heights of romance?"

"...you flatter me," said Cassandra, self consciously. She felt foolish already.

"That _is_ the plan, is it not?"

This was such a strange conversation to be having with Josephine. Until now she had been the quiet, competent voice in the background of the Inquisition that Cassandra had, if she was honest, not paid much attention to. But Josephine had played the game in Orlais, this must be nothing to the seductions she had pretended to. And pursued in earnest. It was an odd thought.

"Mmm," said Cassandra. She found herself unable to meet Josephine's eyes, which just made her feel more embarrassed.

Josephine's demeanour changed from flirtatious to concerned. "Do I go too far? I was merely trying to get into character. I would never...if I _ever_ make you uncomfortable you must let me know."

Cassandra shook her head. "It's fine."

"I will go," said Josephine. "I think enough time has elapsed. We will begin again tomorrow, if you are still willing."

"Yes," said Cassandra, pretending more certainty than she felt. "But one more question: What are your plans for courting me?"

Josephine gave a sly smile. "You will have to wait and see."

* * *

The next morning Cassandra woke to the smell of Arbor's Grace and tea.

There was a tray by her bedside with a freshly baked roll, some cold meats, and lidded mug. Next to the tray was a vase filled with flowers with a note propped up against it. She took a bite of the roll (delicious!) and sat up to read the note:

Dearest Cassandra, May this simple offering atone in some small way for my intolerable rudeness last night. Of course you were right: though I have loved you in secret these many months, this is all very new for you, and if we are to be anything more than friends it can only be after an appropriate courtship. I wish only for your happiness, and will by guided in love, as in all things, by your wishes. I will say nothing further without a sign from you. I know you value your privacy, any relationship between you and I would of course be pursued with the greatest discretion. But if you do not object to my suit, please pin a flower to your heart, to show that you think of me. Yours,  
Josephine Montilyet

The note was written in a neat calligraphic hand on a single card, a thick creamy rectangle of paper scented lightly with roses. "The greatest discretion" indeed. Cassandra wondered how much it had pained Josephine not to put the card in an envelope as was proper. She also wondered how many servants' hands it had passed through on the way to her bedside. There was no going back for Josephine now. But she had still given Cassandra an out, if she had changed her mind during the night.

Cassandra drank her tea, got dressed, and pinned a single white rosebud to her armour.

* * *

It wasn't as bad as she had feared. Everyone she cared about knew the truth, and if others whispered about her when she thought she couldn't hear them, well, it was no worse than when people had whispered about her arresting the Herald of Andraste, or being a candidate for Divine.

Josephine's behaviour was different, but not unpleasant: she was friendlier, always asking Cassandra about her day, and smiling that little bit wider whenever she stopped by. It made Cassandra feel...odd to know that Josephine's interest was not sincere, but she had to admit that she did enjoy having someone to listen to her complaints when she'd had an especially frustrating day. She even enjoyed listening to Josephine in return, Cassandra had little interest in diplomacy but Josephine had a gift for turning her anecdotes into entertaining stories.

And every day she woke to fresh tea and flowers.


	2. Chapter 2

"I should buy you a gift," said Cassandra. They were sitting in an isolated tower Leliana had declared safe from eavesdroppers. Josephine had brought her work with her, as always, and was in the middle of writing out a list of names from her notes. Cassandra had only brought a book, a history of Andrastianism in Rivain, and she was finding it dull. Perhaps she should stop being so shy about letting Josephine see what she _actually_ enjoyed reading.

"But it is I who is wooing you," said Josephine. She put down her pen, then muttered to herself when the inkwell fell over and splashed ink across her neatly written list.

Cassandra pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to Josephine to help her clean up the mess. "Surely I am at least partially wooed by now. Have I not consented to be with you alone in this remote tower? And you have bought me so many gifts, it seems only right to return the favour."

"Do you think I have bought too many? Once I put my mind to it, I kept thinking of things, and your expressions are always so charming."

Cassandra made a non committal hmmph. She didn't _mean_ to get so excited but Josephine had a knack for choosing the perfect gift, from a first edition copy of Cassandra's favourite poet to a more comfortable grip for her sword. Josephine didn't even _use_ swords, how had she known?

"Do not worry about the cost," added Josephine, "the Inquisitor reimburses me."

Cassandra laughed. That _did_ make her feel better. "You know, Josephine, you do such a good job of pretending to be a Romantic that sometimes I forget that you are really a pragmatist."

"It is possible to be both, Lady Seeker, as you well know," said Josephine, puffing up. " And I can be very romantic! Just because I like play acting does not mean I cannot be sincere."

"I am sorry," said Cassandra. "I did not mean to offend. But it seemed...I got the impression that your greatest wish is to find an arranged marriage that benefits your family. I just assumed you...had no interest in anything more." Cassandra could not imagine being happy with such a life, and yet Josephine had been so overjoyed when she thought she was marrying a Pentaghast. It was the exact opposite of everything Cassandra wanted from love.

"Ah," said Josephine. "Yes. I must admit to not _expecting_ anything more. And a suitable arranged marriage would be a very good thing! Perhaps I might even grow to love my husband, if I am lucky. But if somehow...I were to fall in love before I get married, then that would not...necessarily be bad. If they loved me too."

"You have never fallen in love?" It seemed incredible. Josephine was not much younger than her, and claimed to have a romantic nature. By the time she was Josephine's age, Cassandra had fallen in love...well, perhaps not so many times in all. But more than once.

"Not...with anyone appropriate," said Josephine. "Which is to say...not with anyone who was in love with me. If I loved someone and they loved me, whether they were an elf or a mage or...a woman...I would find a way to make it work. I think. Of course it is much easier to say that than to put it into practice. In reality, I will probably marry the next decent man my parents find who is _not_ a serial murderer, and be happy with my lot. Maybe when I am old and settled I will take a lover." She giggled. "Maybe even two, if I am feeling _very_ romantic."

Cassandra tried to put the mental image of Josephine with two lovers out of her mind. "I think perhaps we are using the word romantic to mean different things," she said drily.

"Perhaps," smiled Josephine. "Certainly...I would prefer small signs that a person truly cared for me to showy declarations of love. There is a beauty to the measured dance of courtly love, but...so many times such things are _just_ for show, you know?" Her eyes widened. "Not that...not that _you_ would ever do them for show!"

Cassandra laughed. It was so rare for Josephine to admit a negative opinion of anyone to their face that she found it refreshing. "It is evident that I would. And isn't it all for show, in a way? A romantic gesture is like any other gesture, or like words...it is a way of taking what we feel in here," she tapped her chest, "and presenting it to others in a way they can understand. Like any gesture it need not be sincere, and it's meaning is only what we make of it. Flowers, poetry...they are all established gestures, with a weight of history and expectation. But the gift of a...a new inkwell could be romantic, if it was understood to be so by the people involved."

"Very true," said Josephine. She looked down at her spattered notes. "You don't happen to _have_ a new inkwell to hand, do you?"

"I am afraid not," said Cassandra. "But you are welcome to keep the handkerchief."

Josephine held up the stained white fabric in her hand, careful to avoid touching the parts still damp with ink. "I will treasure it always."

* * *

Everyone was looking at them. Which was the point, after all, but that didn't mean Cassandra had to like it. At least she didn't have to wear a dress.

Cassandra leaned down to whisper in Josephine's ear as they walked down the main steps, arm in arm, onto the ballroom floor. "You never told me I'd have to go to _parties_."

Josephine laughed and whispered back. "Well if I had you would have never agreed! And I promise I won't make you stay long."

And now some drunken Orlesian nobleman was leering at them. Marvellous. "What are you two ladies whispering to each other about so secretively?" he drawled, just a little louder than he should have. "Something scandalous I hope?"

Cassandra tried to bite back a scowl. "I don't believe we've been introduced." Though he did look naggingly familiar. Perhaps one of the many nobles she'd encountered when she was working for the Divine.

The man bowed extravagantly. "Lord Cupidon Richelieu, at your service. And I know who _you_ are, Lady Seeker. And...Ambassador Montilyet, yes? Of the Inquisition?"

"A pleasure, Lord Richelieu," said Josephine. She even sounded like she meant it.

He looked down at their linked arms and waggled his eyebrows. "So...you two seem very...intimate. Good friends are you?"

"Yes," said Cassandra. "Though what business it is of yours..."

Josephine gave her a warning squeeze. "He is just being friendly, dearest. Yes, your lordship, Cassandra and I...have become very close friends." She looked up at Cassandra with such an expression of devotion that Cassandra couldn't help but blush. This woman was a menace.

"Close are you, eh? Just _how_ close? I saw the way you two were looking at each other as you came in..." His voice was awfully loud. Several people turned to stare. _This is what we want_ thought Cassandra, and tried not to glare at all of them.

"You Lordship, please," said Josephine, sounding as uncomfortable as Cassandra felt, though she was undoubtably crowing inside. "We are _just friends_."

"Ha! If you say so." He leaned closer. His clothes stank of spirits. "Don't worry. I think you two are _quite marvellous_. Very brave."

"You are too kind," said Josephine. "But please...we do not mean to make a scene."

Lord Richelieu nodded sagely. "I'll leave you ladies to it then. But I wish you both the best of luck." He gave a theatrical wink and then shambled off towards the drinks table.

As he left Josephine gave a large sigh. She stopped squeezing Cassandra quite so hard, and Cassandra found she missed the sensation. All of Josephine's little touches had gone from embarrassing to expected to...something else.

"What an obnoxious man," said Cassandra.

"Yes, and quite a gossip, I hear," said Josephine. "I do hope he will not be spreading tales about us to the other guests."

"Ah," said Cassandra, a suspicion dawning. "Yes. That _would_ be terrible. And what an awful coincidence, us bumping into him just as we arrived."

Josephine nodded sadly. "But it can not be helped. And there's no reason it should ruin our evening."

Cassandra gave a wry laugh. "Oh no, indeed. I'm sure the evening will go swimmingly with a woman like _you_ at my side. As long as we don't encounter too many more such coincidences."

Josephine gave her a small, secret smile. "Not _too_ many more, I should think."

* * *

Cassandra amused herself for the rest of the evening by trying to tell which of the people who approached them were sincere gossips, and which were Leliana's agents. It was a game she'd played whenever Leliana had dragged her along on some mission to help the Divine, and she was as bad at it now as she had been then. Josephine was presumably better, but she treated everyone the same regardless.

Not all of the gossip was about her and Josephine. Questions ranged from practical concerns about the new status of mages to worries about the theological implications of the Herald of Andraste's background, but as always at such events a large proportion of people's questions were frankly absurd. One woman got intensely irate when Cassandra refused to agree that the darkspawn were really qunari invaders dressed in costume.

And then there were the social climbers, excited to have access to not one but two high level members of the Inquisition, one of them a Pentaghast. As was her nature, Josephine was taking full advantage of the situation, but Cassandra found it intolerable.

Cassandra tried to stare down the man currently pulling on her shirt sleeve. "I have already told you, I do not know what King Markus plans for the tariff on peaches," she said irritably.

"But if you could just take a guess..."

"I understand your concern completely, ser," said Josephine, taking his arm and gently steering him away. "My own family, the Montilyets, have had no end of trouble with the Nevarran regulations regarding stone fruit. One never knows if one's Cardinals are suddenly going to be priced like Honeyvalley Golds!"

"Exactly!" said the man.

"Luckily, I have contacts throughout Thedas," Josephine looked significantly at Cassandra and then smiled back at the man, as if to imply that Cassandra had some special insights on peaches she would only share with a lover. "I have managed to find a few...more reliable routes to the markets in Ferelden. If you like, I could arrange a meeting with our export manager."

"If you could," said the man. "And if they could offer me advice on my cabbages..."

Cassandra was distracted from this fascinating conversation by a tittering laugh at her shoulder. She turned to find herself faced with not one but three faceless Orlesian nobles, all with the distinct bearing of those who expected to be taken seriously.

One gave a light bow, which even Cassandra could read as "I consider you far beneath me, but for politeness sake will treat you as an equal." Cassandra gave the exact same bow back.

"Lady Pentaghast, may we ask...will it be long until the Inquisition forms an Exalted March?"

Cassandra stared at him in surprise. "An Exalted March...against whom? Corypheus? We intend to fight him, but..."

The tittering again. "No, no, after that! Of course your first priority must be to defeat this monster, but afterwards...there are so many things wrong with the world!"

"Like the Dalish," said another noble. "You would not believe how many I have had to eradicate from my lands, and they always come back like weeds..."

"And then there's all those apostates!" said the third. "Not to mention the dwarves..."

"We are not going to form an exalted March against the dwarves!" said Cassandra, trying not to shout. "Not against any of those people! The goal of the Inquisition is to make the world better, not to heap on more injustices..."

Cassandra felt a comforting warmth by her side. It seemed that Josephine had concluded her discussion with the peach importer. She felt her temper cooling, knowing she did not have to argue with these fools alone. She and Josephine had discussed the Inquisition's role many times, and she knew that Josephine agreed with her.

Josephine bowed obsequiously. "I understand your concerns, Lady Poulin," she said. "It is hard to feel secure in these difficult times..."

Of course. Why had she expected Josephine to argue with them? Far better to pretend the Inquisition would listen to their appalling ideas and then just quietly ignore them. Perhaps, if they caused too much trouble, Leliana would have them quietly assassinated. But one must never cause a _scene_.

Cassandra bit her tongue as Josephine ever so subtly steered the three nobles around to the idea that _perhaps_ an Exalted March was more trouble than it was worth, and that _maybe_ it would be a good idea to try not to murder _all_ of the "undesirables" they happened to find on their land.

"I'm going outside," she said to Josephine, when they were finally alone. She was reaching the limit of her ability to pretend not to hate people, and that never ended well. "Find me when you're ready to leave."

"Cassandra," said Josephine. "Please, don't go." She grabbed Cassandra's hand. "Whatever I've done to upset you..."

"You haven't..." She looked so sad Cassandra felt guilty despite herself. It was infuriating. "It's not you. I just need some air."

Josephine brushed her fingers across the back of Cassandra's hand absently, as if she didn't know she was doing it. "Of course, dearest. Should I leave you alone?"

The idea of being alone did have some appeal, but it would hardly suit their purpose of looking like a happy couple. "No," said Cassandra. "Just...be quiet." Wait, that didn't sound very romantic. "My apologies, that was...I am sorry I am being so difficult. It's really not you."

Josephine shook her head. "It was me being difficult, dragging you along to a party when I know you don't like them. We can leave whenever you'd like." Was that a sincere apology? Cassandra couldn't tell.

They started walking towards one of the open bay windows. Cassandra could feel the edges of a cool breeze through the press of people. Josephine's hand was warm in hers.

They were not the only ones to seek privacy in the gardens, but they eventually found a secluded bench under some trees.

Josephine gave her an apologetic smile, and Cassandra felt more sure that it was sincere this time. "Do you wish to leave? I think we have...made enough of an impression." But then she put her hand on Cassandra's knee and smiled at her and Cassandra was confused again.

Cassandra frowned and shifted her knee so that Josephine's hand was displaced. "Yes. We should go." Josephine's face fell, and Cassandra felt guilty again, and then more annoyed. "Stop pretending," she hissed. Josephine's eyes widened into an expression of extreme worry, and of warning. So she _did_ think they were being observed. That was..._damn it that was bad_. "No, don't. I'm sorry. I just wish we could...stop pretending...that we are _just friends_," said Cassandra, trying to make it sound natural. "I wish we could be ourselves. I get confused and that makes me angry. But I shouldn't blame you."

"Oh," said Josephine. Her face was full of concern. Cassandra decided to assume it was real. It _felt_ real. "I am so sorry. I didn't realise you felt so...so unhappy. Do you want to...do you want us to tell people the truth, about us?"

"No," said Cassandra. "But right now I would like to go home."

"Of course."

* * *

The next morning the note with her tea just said a simple "good morning". The flowers were yellow roses, symbolising apology and friendship. (except when they meant betrayal? Flower language was unfortunately vague) The tea and bread was as delicious as always.

Cassandra went into Josephine's office after her morning training, as had become her usual routine, but instead of the usual friendly smile Josephine just gave her a calm nod and went back to her work. Cassandra tried not to take it to heart. She reminded herself that Josephine had every right to stop pretending to care about Cassandra if she needed a rest. She was an Ambassador, after all, she had more important things to do than wait on Cassandra.

For next few hours Cassandra was busy herself. She had a long meeting with several members of the Chantry asking her advice on matters of state, and then an even longer planning session with Cullen trying to figure out how best to set up the training area for new recruits. By the time she had a chance to wander towards the dining hall she had nearly missed the midday meal.

Despite her fatigue she perked up when she realised who was walking up the stairs in front of her.

"Josephine!" said Cassandra cheerfully. "I was about to eat. Would you care to join me?" Meals were the perfect chance to flirt in front of an audience, and the food gave Cassandra something to occupy herself with when she felt too awkward to speak.

"Oh," said Josephine. "Actually I am a little...busy right now. Maybe another time?"

"Of course," said Cassandra, though Josephine had enthusiastically jumped at every other chance to spend time together during the last few weeks. It hurt more than she would have expected, to be rejected at last. But perhaps it was Cassandra's turn to be the pursuer. "I have not seen you all day...might we spend some time together this evening?"

"Yes, of course, I..." Josephine gave the bland smile that meant she was hiding her true emotions. "In fact...perhaps I do have time for a meal now, if you are still interested."

Josephine continued to smile blandly for the entire rest of the meal. She was not unfriendly, she still asked Cassandra about her day and made interesting comments about the food, but she did not flirt, or sigh, or compliment Cassandra on how pretty she looked in the light from the stained glass windows. A month ago this would have felt normal. Right now it felt deeply disturbing.

As they left the dining hall Cassandra pulled Josephine into a private room near the stairs. It had not been vetted but it would have to do.

"Are you all right?" she asked. "You seemed very distant today. If I have done something to offend you..."

"Not at all," said Josephine. "I just...last night you said my behaviour made you feel...confused, and unhappy. I did not want...I do not want to make you uncomfortable."

"Josephine," said Cassandra. "I appreciate your concern, but I am an adult. I can handle a little uncomfortableness."

"I know you _can_," said Josephine, not meeting her eye. "But I am not sure you _should_. The more I think about it...you are a woman of integrity, and I have insulted your dignity, used my...position with you for my own ends...Of course you must hate it. And now that I realise this...I cannot in good conscience continue as we were."

"We cannot give up, after all this!"

"No, I...I am decided," said Josephine, firmly. "There are other, better ways to approach our current situation. I will confer with Leliana, and brief you tomorrow." Her voice was calm and business-like. It left Cassandra feeling bereft. Josephine opened the door and walked out into the hallway.

Tomorrow would be too late. By the time Cassandra convinced Josephine that she was willing to continue their courtship, the damage of Josephine's obvious disinterest would have been done.

In a novel this would be the time to give a flowery romantic speech, but Cassandra was not much of a speechmaker. But nor was she ready to admit defeat. A wild, reckless thought popped into her head, and having no better ideas, she followed it.

Cassandra strode out into the busy corridor, grabbed Josephine by the hand, pulled her close, and kissed her.

Josephine gasped. Was that true surprise, or feigned innocence? To avoid thinking about it, Cassandra kissed her again. Cassandra felt Josephine go still within her arms. Her lips did not move. When Cassandra stopped, Josephine just stared at her with wide eyes. That...was no feigned romantic swoon. That was genuine shock.

"I'm sorry," said Cassandra, "I should not have..."

"_Don't stop_," whispered Josephine.

But now that she _had_ stopped Cassandra felt impossibly self conscious. She just stared at Josephine, and Josephine stared at her, neither of them seeming able to move or speak. Then Josephine slowly, slowly put her hand on Cassandra's face, and leaned up to kiss her.

Her lips were soft and yielding now. Cassandra had not kissed a woman before, not properly, and she knew that none of this was real, but still it felt as true and right as any other kiss with someone she...what? What exactly _did_ Cassandra feel for Josephine?

Desire certainly. She felt Josephine's long fingers reaching up into her hair, and the pressure of Josephine's body against her. There was so much clothing between them! She ran her hand up the smooth fabric of Josephine's bodice to touch the bare skin of her neck and Josephine sighed into her mouth.

And something else. All the romantic gestures, all the kindness and laughter and soft sweet concern. It was all a lie but a part of her had believed it. And that part of her...that part of her had fallen in love with the image of Josephine who had pretended to be in love with her. Had fallen in love with a woman who didn't really exist.

Cassandra pulled herself away. Josephine's skin looked flushed, her neat bun mussed and half collapsing. She looked absolutely nothing like a man and yet she was impossibly alluring.

They had an audience. Cassandra could hear several people laughing amongst themselves at seeing the former right hand of the Divine kiss the Ambassador. No one would doubt that they were courting now. But another day of this and Cassandra wasn't sure what she might end up doing.

And there was only one way to finish it. "I will come to you tonight," said Cassandra, her voice rough. She heard a bystander titter.

Josephine did not reply, her eyes wide and stupid with surprise and what for all the world looked like desire.

Cassandra took a deep breath and walked away.

* * *

"I like your quarters," said Cassandra, for lack of anything else to say. And she did. They were modest, but prettily decorated, and had an an air of practicality and comfort.

"There are no candles," said Josephine. Cassandra raised her eyebrows: there was a lit candlestick not a hands-breadth from where they were sitting. "Yes," said Josephine, "but...I was going to to...there were going to be candles and rose petals _everywhere_. To look romantic. I had everything ordered and prepared but I couldn't...it didn't feel right."

If there had been candles and rose petals Cassandra might have cried. "Probably for the best," she said.

Josephine looked at her feet. "Would you like some cheese? Or...wine?" Her voice ran out of steam by the end of the word.

"I am fine, thank you. I have already eaten."

"You are very sensible."

An awkward silence settled over the two of them. Cassandra felt very exposed without her armour and weaponry. It had felt...disrespectful to come dressed as a warrior when she knew Josephine disliked violence. But she had never had a reason to wear this tunic before, and it itched. Cassandra shifted uncomfortably and wondered if they would just sit like this all night.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Josephine's tone was full of compassion, and it made Cassandra's heart ache. Why did she have to make this difficult?

"_Yes_," said Cassandra. "Don't be ridiculous, why would we give up at this point?"

"If you are absolutely sure," said Josephine. They lapsed into silence again.

Cassandra sighed. If she sat on the couch all night she'd get a backache. "So where should I sleep?" she asked. She avoided looking at the door she was fairly sure lead to the bedroom.

"Oh no," said Josephine, softly. "I thought you realised..."

"...we are to share the bed, I see." Sitting on the couch all night in silence was looking much more desirable in retrospect.

"The servants will be able to tell," said Josephine. "I am so sorry, if there was another way..."

"It is not a problem," said Cassandra. "I have shared all manner of cramped bedding on the road. Once when we were stuck in a sandstorm I had to sleep next to Cole. The next morning he narrated my dreams, it was most disconcerting."

"I promise not to do that," said Josephine, smiling.

Cassandra smiled back. "Then we will be fine, I am sure." And then she had to ruin it again. "Are we to be naked?" She winced at her blunt choice of words and at Josephine's look of panic.

"If you think that is...I had...I have a nightgown you can borrow, if you would prefer."

"...if you would be so kind, thank you."

It was early, far too early to sleep. But neither of them had anything left to say, and so they went to bed. They changed in separate rooms, and Josephine snuffed out the candle before getting into bed. The nightgown was quite the girliest thing Cassandra had worn in at least ten years, but it was Josephine's and so she didn't mind. Josephine lay still, and did not speak or snore, but Cassandra was still intimately aware of how close she was. She could smell Josephine's scent on the pillow. Cassandra lay as far from her as she could in the bed designed for one and closed her eyes against the dark. She was a fool.

At least her training had prepared Cassandra to be able to sleep no matter the circumstances. Unfortunately, it had not taught her to sleep when she did not need to. Cassandra woke up far earlier than she would have liked, to a pitch black room and an empty bed.

There was no tea beside her this morning, and no flowers. Just an unfamiliar bedroom, with not even a hint of dawn filtering through the curtains. Cassandra searched in the dark for the candle and flint. The light revealed the other contents of Josephine's bedside drawer: a book Cassandra had given her, half read, and a stained handkerchief, neatly pressed and folded. Cassandra closed the drawer and quietly made her way the next room.

"Josephine?" she whispered.

Cassandra received no answer. But listening carefully she could hear a noise from the other side of the living space. With a sinking feeling she realised it was muffled sobbing.

She found Josephine sitting on the settee and wiping her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," she said. "Go back to bed."

"I do not need any more rest," said Cassandra. "Tell me what the matter is. Are you...have I upset you?"

Josephine shook her head. "You are entirely blameless. Everything you do is honourable and kind."

"That doesn't answer my question,"said Cassandra.

Josephine laughed wetly. "Not entirely, no." She tried to smile but her lip wavered and turned into a frown. "I...don't want to overburden you. But I don't want to lie to you either. You are such an honest person, and I am so..." She sniffed, and her voice cracked slightly as she tried to speak. "Is it all right if I just say that I am sad? I do not wish to talk about the reasons why just now."

"Of course," said Cassandra, though she was desperate to know. "Would you like me to sit with you?"

Josephine's pretence at sadness had been heartrending the other night but it was nothing to the sincere expression of woe she wore now. Josephine's voice wavered. "I..."

"Josephine," said Cassandra. "I am so sorry. I will leave you...I will go back to my quarters. I will not bother you any more."

"No," said Josephine, turning to look at Cassandra properly at last. Her eyes were very red, she had obviously been crying for some time. In her white night gown she looked like a sad ghost. "Cassandra, do not...I do not want..."

"What do you want?" asked Cassandra. "Whatever it is, I will do my best to achieve it for you."

"What I want..." She stared at Cassandra sadly and then shook her head slightly. When she stilled her face wore the calm professional mask that Cassandra had for many months assumed was her natural expression. "What I want is for you to be safe, and for my family to be safe. And we have achieved that, or nearly. Beyond that I want for nothing...nothing of importance."

Cassandra wasn't fooled, but she also wasn't going to push the matter if Josephine wanted to let it drop. "As you wish," she said.

Josephine made another attempt at a smile, almost succeeding this time. "Since we are both unable to sleep, and you should not leave until you are more likely to encounter some servants in your escape...would you like to play some Wicked Grace?"

"As long as it is not for money," said Cassandra. "I do not wish to lose my savings."

"You're no fun," said Josephine. "But if you insist."

* * *

Somehow Cassandra ended up with Josephine asleep on her bosom.

She'd just meant to play a round or two, especially since she lost every game, but then they'd opened a bottle of wine, and Josephine had started telling funny stories, and as the dawn approached Cassandra had found herself unable to tear herself away. Josephine, not having slept, and having drunk more than was entirely wise, had gotten more and more sleepy, and eventually flopped asleep on the settee. From there she had settled down into her current position, resting her head on Cassandra's chest. Cassandra could not pretend to mind very much.

And then there was a knock at the door.

"Josephine," whispered Cassandra, shaking her shoulder gently. "Wake up."

"Hmm?" murmured Josephine, nuzzling Cassandra in a manner which under different circumstances would have been incredibly pleasant. And then she woke, and saw where she was, and pushed herself up with a startled cry. By the time the servant opened the door the two of them were sprung apart on the settee, their hair and nightgowns askew.

"Ah," said the servant, and closed the door again.

"Well that takes care of that, then," said Cassandra.

"I suppose it does," said Josephine. She straightened her nightgown. "I know we were planning on continuing our charade for as long as it took for Lord Elias to notice, but...perhaps...it would be better to stop. Do you think?"

"Yes," said Cassandra, "I..."

There was another knock at the door.

"In a moment," said Josephine.

And then someone _kicked the door right in_.

Cassandra jumped up and then cursed as she reached for her blade only to grasp at air and frills of fabric.

"Josephine, leave," she said, gesturing towards the bedroom and watching the door.

It was Elias. He strode into Josephine's quarters like he owned the place, his armour gleaming in the morning sunlight. He looked as large and nasty as he had a decade past, maybe larger. He was no Seeker, but he had trained as long and hard as Cassandra, and had the advantage of size and strength. She tried to look regal and unruffled, despite being unarmed and in a nightgown. Behind him the servant from this morning took one look at her and fled.

"Cassandra," said Elias, his eyes bright with fury and triumph. "So it's true. Where is Lady Josephine?"

"I am here," said Josephine. She came and stood beside Cassandra, putting Cassandra's clothes and a metal tray down on the settee where she could see and easily reach for them. The clothes were not much better than the nightgown, because _of course_ Cassandra had chosen to prioritise fashion over armour the one night she was to be attacked in someone else's rooms.

Cassandra inclined her head, and tried not to shout at Josephine to run away. The plan was still on track. Goad Elias into declaring a duel and kill him. She could do that. "Josephine, this is my cousin Elias Pentaghast. Elias, this is my...close friend, Lady Josephine Montilyet."

"Good morning, Lord Elias," said Josephine, giving Cassandra's free hand a squeeze and secretly handing her the hilt of...was that a dagger? Maker bless the woman for quick thinking. "How can we help you?"

"You can unhand my cousin, for a start," he said. "Lady Josephine...we are engaged. And yet I find you with my own cousin, my female cousin, in this state of undress? My honour will not stand for it!"

"We are engaged?" said Josephine, with a suitable tone of shock. "No one told me!"

"That does not make it untrue. If you truly did not know, Lady Montilyet then...I can forgive you your indiscretion. Perhaps. But I cannot let the insult remain." He held up his sword towards Cassandra. Cassandra slowly reached down and grabbed the tray.

Josephine gasped. "What are you saying? Surely you cannot...mean...a duel?"

"It is too late for that..." he said, and lunged.

"No!" said Josephine, genuinely shocked now. And then: "Help!" A worthy sentiment, but it seemed likely that by the time any guards arrived it would all be too late.

Cassandra jumped back and parried Elias as best she could with Josephine's dagger, using the tray as a shield. It dented but did not break. To her relief, Josephine retreated back away to the other side of the room. "Elias," said Cassandra. "If you kill me like this is it will not look good to the rest of the family."

"A crime of passion!" he said, triumphantly. "When I heard about you and my fiancé, it seemed...like a message from the Maker himself. Especially since by an act of Providence I was near enough to check on these rumours in person." Cassandra spun and slashed at him with her dagger. It was much lighter than the sword she was used to, and she overreached, barely scratching his neck.

Cassandra desperately tried to remember the few simple dagger techniques she had learned in basic training. Maybe there was some way to adapt her usual spinning strike... "And you got into Skyhold...through further Providence? Or some more sordid means?" Had he bribed one of Skyhold's existing servants or somehow managed to smuggle in one of his own? Leliana would need to know about the security hole, either way.

Elias shrugged and made a slicing motion towards her, relying more on strength than finesse. "The important thing is I caught you in the act." He missed and hit the settee. Josephine squealed in shock and he flinched. Still concerned with his fiancé's good opinion it seemed. Good. Even if Cassandra didn't survive this, Josephine would be safe. Married to Elias, but safe.

He slashed at Cassandra again, even wilder this time. He seemed to be pained by his wound, which was ridiculous. Cassandra had barely touched him.

"Lord Elias, please don't do this," pleaded Josephine. "Cassandra and I...we really are just friends. She came to comfort me in my illness... syphilis, you know, it is very unpleasant."

Elias looked at his fiancé in shock.

This was the distraction Cassandra needed. She kicked at his heels and sliced down at his sword arm. Elias cried out and let go of his sword, then flailed unthinkingly down towards it instead of keeping his eyes on Cassandra.

She could kill him now, if she wanted. She could see the entire sequence of events play out perfectly in her mind. But that ended with her murdering an unarmed man in front of Josephine, with Josephine having to live with the knowledge that a man had died here, in her quarters, and on her behalf. Cassandra could still hear Josephine's words about _the rule of law_ in her mind...

As he leaned down towards his sword, Cassandra knocked Elias off his feet entirely, then kneeled on top of him and put her knife to his throat.

"Do you yield?"

"I..." His face went red. "I..." His eyes bulged, and he gasped for breath. Was he trying to trick her?

"He's having a heart attack," said Josephine. She sounded both certain and horrified. "You should..."

Cassandra stopped leaning on him so hard but it was too late. Elias took one last, wheezing breath and then he was dead.

* * *

"I'm sorry things ended this way," said Cassandra. They were alone again at last, after the guards and onlookers and healers had finally run out of questions and let them escape to the privacy of their tower. But Josephine was still edgy. "I know it must have been horrible for you. But I'm not sorry Elias is dead. Thank you, for saving me."

Josephine started back from Cassandra. "I...it was you who saved me. I did not...I do not deserve any praise."

"Yes you do," said Cassandra.

"I poisoned the dagger," said Josephine. "I saw you in danger and I just...I killed him."

"I know," said Cassandra. "It was your quick thinking that saved me. Not just the dagger, but the poison...he was not at his full strength. That is how I was able to defeat him. You _saved_ me. And I am grateful."

"But..." Josephine wrung her hands, and sighed. "Yes. You are right. I am not sorry he is dead either. If I have saved you then...I did the right thing. I will not wallow in self pity over my choice."

"It is not self pity to feel regret over killing someone," said Cassandra. "Even when it is necessary...it should probably weigh heavier on me than it usually does. Your conscience does you credit."

They settled into silence.

Cassandra looked around the room, so familiar after such a short time. Thought of all the conversations she'd had with Josephine here, the happy times just quietly sitting together as they read and worked. "I will miss this place," she said. "I don't suppose...we will have cause to use it again." What were they to be now...friends? Or just acquaintances, as they had been before?

"I will miss it as well," said Josephine. "The last few weeks have been...an experience."

Cassandra laughed. "That is one word for it."

"Real life will seem so dull by comparison. A secret romance, a duel with a jealous lover...Varric should turn it into one of his stories. On the cover can be the dashing heroine, a tall beautiful woman with short cropped hair..."

Cassandra felt herself blushing. "Please, Josephine. There's no need for any of that any more."

"Of course, I'm sorry," said Josephine. "I didn't mean..."

Her feelings were like a weight, holding her down. How could they be friends, like this?

"No, I am sorry," said Cassandra. "I _like_ when you tease me. I just...I need you to...I do not deal well with flirting. I like it, but it confuses me." She groaned unhappily. "I am, in short, a fool who cannot tell reality from playacting. I'm sorry."

"You are not a fool, Cassandra," said Josephine.

"Am I not?" said Cassandra. "You have always been quite clear about the nature of our relationship, and yet I..." She stopped herself too late. Josephine stared at her.

But perhaps it was better to get it out. Be as honest as Josephine thought her to be. "Josephine. I would like...after this, I would like to be your friend. And I do not expect anything more than that, I swear. But I must warn you that I...foolishly, stupidly, I could not stop myself...I have developed feelings for you. No, not for you, that would be almost reasonable. For the _dream_ of you, this impossible romantic ideal you have created for me."

Josephine stared a while longer, in silence, and then spoke slowly. "You have feelings... for the lie I have told you about myself. But not the liar." There was a bitterness to the way she said _liar_. Did she think Cassandra was _judging_ her? But of course she was upset: who would not be insulted to hear that someone loved your performance, but not you?

"Yes! No! I do not...I do not _know_ you, Josephine." The moment she said it Cassandra realised it wasn't true. There was much that was true about the time they had spent together. At least she hoped so. "Or perhaps... I know you too well. I know you are kind, and thoughtful, and intelligent. I know you are funny, and beautiful, and...I know you only lie when it is necessary. But I also know that you are...very good at it. Very good at being whatever it is people want you to be. You cannot actually enjoy always...soothing me, always thinking of my needs, always _touching_. You would have done none of this naturally, and knowing that... You are a good person, a wonderful person. I respect you greatly. But you do not love me. And I think it is...the lie of being loved that I fell in love with."

"Oh," said Josephine. And then she sighed. "I see. I have pretended to be sincere, and forthright, and bold. Because...because I thought that was what you would like. You are right, I would never...I would never have been that way naturally. That person does not exist." Her voice got very quiet. "I wish...for your sake, that she did."

"Do not wish that," said Cassandra. "Never wish that you were anything other than yourself. I have loved a beautiful dream, and like all dreams it has ended. You are real. I do not know...exactly how I will feel, how you will behave, now that we are able to show each other our true faces. I cannot promise...that my romantic feelings will fade, even when you are evidently indifferent. But I will always esteem you greatly Josephine. And I hope...I do hope that we can become friends. If that is something you would like. A friend, a true friend, is a far greater gift than a false lover."

"A friendship based on honesty, where we show each other our true faces?"

"Yes."

Josephine gave a long bitter laugh. "Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast you are _impossible_."

"Ah," said Cassandra. "I am sorry, I had assumed..." So Josephine did not even really like her. Now Cassandra's heart was broken, as it had not been before.

"Cassandra, no! Of course...I want to be your friend more than anything. It is just...if I am to be _honest_ with you, as you have been with me...Ugh!"

Cassandra laughed, relieved but confused. "Is it so difficult?"

"Not usually! But with you...how can I..." Josephine stood up and started to pace, looking anywhere but at Cassandra. "I will do my best to explain. But I cannot promise that..." She walked to the window and rested her hands on the ledge. She spoke out into the open air. "When we began, this was like a game to me, playing at courtship with a beautiful, unattainable woman. Pretending I was...something I am not. And I knew you were only tolerating it because you had to. But...you seemed to enjoy it a little. And I enjoyed it...more and more. Talking to you, making you happy...touching you. I started to wish...that it was not just a game."

"Oh," said Cassandra.

"I never thought...never dreamed that you could ever feel anything for me, that way. I had thought you...unaffected entirely. A little irritated, perhaps, but unharmed by my silliness. Even though I dragged you to parties, made you embarrass yourself, used your _name_. When I realised last night that you were unhappy...I saw how selfish I had been. I hope you can forgive me."

"Josephine, of course I...but..." Cassandra's heart swelled with the whisperings of hope. "Do I mistake you? Are you saying that you are in love with me?"

Josephine turned from the window and looked her in the eyes at last. "Yes. Very much. More than I know how to...I am so sorry. I did not truly know myself until you kissed me. And now our friendship will be made strange...But you wanted to know the truth, and there it is."

"But that's wonderful!" Josephine did not appear to agree. "Unless...do _you_ prefer the dream? I cannot pretend to be an easy woman to love. If you would rather we did not act on our feelings...it would be strange. Yes. But I would be willing to try. Better that than to lose you entirely."

"Yes. But...would you...are you saying...Cassandra, are you saying that you would really want to be more than friends? With _me_, as I really am? I cannot..." She stared at Cassandra in disbelief. Cassandra stared back, willing Josephine to believe her. "Perhaps you do not realise how _dull_ I am. And shy! Very shy! I _never_ talk about my feelings. And I, well...I could continue to give you flowers of course, and gifts, but...I am not the romantic hero you want, surely. You don't even like women!"

"I like you. Even as you are."

"You cannot know that. You said so yourself."

There was no denying the truth of this. And Cassandra had always promised herself that she would not give herself to any love that did not satisfy her. "I...I suppose I cannot. Not yet." Cassandra stood, and took a step towards Josephine. She reached for her hand. "But Josephine. Would you be willing to try? To court each other in earnest? Perhaps we will find that we are poorly suited. But to have a chance at love, and let it pass by..."

Josephine reached out for Cassandra's offered hand and took it. She smiled, her eyes damp. "Yes. If you are willing...yes." She pulled Cassandra's hand to her lips and kissed it. "Though I am sure I shall break your heart with my dullness."

Cassandra very much doubted that. "I will take the risk."

* * *

There were candles, this time, and rose petals.

Cassandra walked up the steps of the tower, _their_ tower, and strained her ears to make out the sound wafting down from above. Was that...singing? If Josephine had hired a singer that would put a crimp in some of Cassandra's plans for the evening.

_To sing only of your eyes, your lips..._

No, could it really be _The Rose of Springtime_? Cassandra hadn't heard that sung in years. And never in an Antivan accent. Josephine's voice was not strong, but there was a sincerity to her words as she sang of loving from afar, and of new hope. Cassandra tried singing along for a line or two but felt too self conscious, so instead she hummed the tune under her breath. Each step as she approached the door to their room felt lighter and lighter.

The floor, when she opened the door, was scattered with rose petals, and there was a soft blanket laid across the cold stone floor. Josephine sat on a small stool, playing a mandolin and surrounded by so many candles she seemed to glow through her thin dress. She stood when Cassandra entered, and her voice faltered for a moment, but then she continued on, staring at Cassandra with bold, expressive eyes. As the song finished they stared at each other in silence for one more perfect, beautiful moment.

Cassandra stepped through the door.

"I'm glad you got my message," said Josephine.

"I'm glad you sent it."

Josephine nodded. "I felt, I feel...we have been courting for some time now. Properly courting, that is. And I know you like it when I am...expressive. So I wanted to express to you...that I..." Cassandra smiled but offered no assistance. She did like it when Josephine was expressive, but Josephine adorably flailing as she _tried_ to be expressive was appealing too. "...like you very much," finished Josephine weakly.

"This is a lot of candles to tell me that you _like_ me," said Cassandra. But she was charmed.

Josephine tilted her head self consciously. "Is it too much? I was going to use less, but I got a bulk discount, so I thought...uh...I did not invite you here to tell you about bulk candle discounts, either. Sorry." She reached for Cassandra's hands and squeezed them. "Have I ever mentioned how wonderful you are? I feel I do not mention that enough."

Cassandra stepped into Josephine's arms and kissed her. "They are lovely. You are lovely." Josephine was not naturally bold, or prone to big romantic gestures. But for Cassandra's sake, she tried to be, and that made it all the sweeter. And Cassandra knew that Josephine enjoyed it too, that they both needed a push sometimes to admit to the romantic natures they hid under their pragmatic exteriors.

Josephine smiled. Oh, to be the recipient of that smile, and to know that it was real and just for her. Cassandra kissed her again. "Here. I have brought you a gift." She let go of Josephine's hands and reached into her pocket.

Josephine held out her hands for the small box and then shook it very gently, with a calculating look in her eyes. "What have we here?" she asked, grinning. Cassandra realised, belatedly, that it looked like the kind of box you might use to hold an engagement ring. Not that they could marry, not by law, but perhaps she should have bought her jewellery, something symbolic...

Josephine opened the box. "Oh," she breathed. "It's perfect." Josephine held the inkwell up to the light. The engraving sparkled. "Is that...the Montilyet family crest? Cassandra you are..."

"It is designed not to tip," said Cassandra. "I thought you might find it useful."

Josephine carefully put the inkwell back in it's box and placed the box carefully on the windowsill. Then she took a sudden jump.

Cassandra laughed and took a step back, her arms suddenly full of Josephine.

"I love you," said Josephine. "That is what I wanted to tell you. I should never have doubted you, doubted _this_. You are...amazing. The most passionate, caring, _intoxicating_ woman I have ever known."

"I love you too," said Cassandra. "Josephine, I never thought...I never thought I would ever have anything like this. You are...words fail me."

Josephine held Cassandra tight. "As...difficult as the circumstances were that brought us together, I am so glad we found each other. That we are able to truly _know_ each other, to trust each other...I know I have not always made it easy."

"Josephine," said Cassandra. "You are a good and honourable woman. I trust you implicitly."

"I know, and I am grateful for it. And Cassandra, you must know...I am not attracted to you because..." She made a pained face "No, honesty. I am only a _little_ attracted to you because you are a Pentaghast. "

Cassandra laughed and then gave a mock gasp of offence. "You are only attracted to me a little?"

In answer Josephine gave a sly smile that made Cassandra's face warm. She kissed her, a gentle brush of her lips filled with promise. She ran her hands across Cassandra's arms, her face, the hollow of her back. They kissed again, and Cassandra pulled Josephine close. She kissed down Josephine's neck and heard her gasp. Her skin was soft and warm and tasted faintly of salt and jasmine soap. Cassandra reached the ribbon holding together the lacy edge of Josephine's bodice and pulled at it with her teeth.

It refused to budge. She pulled at the ribbon with her fingers and came to the unfortunate realisation that it was just for show. She grunted in annoyance and Josephine giggled. Josephine whispered wickedly "There is a line of buttons down the back."

"Ah," said Cassandra in triumph, as her fingers found the buttons. She watched the bodice begin to loosen at last, the layered fabric falling to reveal a bewitching expanse of soft brown skin. She had a disorienting sense of deja vu. "I recognise this dress," she said in surprise. "It's the one you wore to...are you trying to seduce me?" Cassandra found herself grinning giddily.

"That depends," said Josephine. She let one finger idly wend it's way up Cassandra's side, brushing across the edge of her breast and leaving her skin tingling through her thin silk shirt. "Is it working?"

Cassandra laughed for joy. And then for an answer she kissed Josephine again and again, until the rose petals scattered and the candles sputtered out.


End file.
